she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
