This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and you fell through a lawn chair
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize