tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize