I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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