You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
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He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
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Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
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