You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
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