youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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