Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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