my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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