FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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