Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
