Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize