my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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