You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
