it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
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