No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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