after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize