Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
