Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
