Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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