I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
