Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
