I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
