somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
