Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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