Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
