life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
