whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
