I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
