Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
