I don't remember. Are we still dating?
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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