atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
