Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
