Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
She tied me up with her honor cords...
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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