chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
