Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
