I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Randomize
