insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
