With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
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