somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
this boner is exhausting
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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