I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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