Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
