I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Randomize
