I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
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