He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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