Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
