We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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