i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
