When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
