Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
