Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
