Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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