Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Michael Bay diarrhea
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
