Just fell off a train. Bad.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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